Have the Men Had Enough? (Margaret Foster)

This is a beautifully constructed portrait of a family coming to terms with (or failing to) dementia within the family. After a lifetime caring for the family, when the mother/ grandmother needs caring for herself, what is the best approach the family can take? The characters demonstrate the range of emotions and responses that arise in this family challenge – is the quality of grandma’s life more important than her safety? Is the damage to other people outweighed by her happiness? Who benefits, who gains, who loses, who cares? Rather than a purely clinical discussion of dementia, this book celebrates the joys of the patient’s former youth and glory, and combines this with a perspective on some of the more ridiculous aspects of the current situation. The tone conveys the seriousness of the problem, but allows a light-hearted style to convey the message with great effect.

This book draws attention to the questions and challenges that families face with caring for dementia. The characters’ different values and beliefs highlight the conflicts that will arise over caring, comforting and controlling both the sick and healthy within a family. If you are facing this challenge, or fear this for the future, read and share this book with your family – this may give you some reference-point to start the discussions.